Friday, 7 September 2012

Strange things happen at sea....

and on land too! For the last 6 months or so I have been feeling really tired, physically and mentally. It's mostly because of all the running around I have to do and my hypothyroidism; I am apparently, still supposed to be taking it easy but after being almost house bound for more years than I care to remember I can't seem to be able to slow down. It feels like defeat. Or a step backwards. Apart from that with 4 children (5 including my husband) it's difficult to slow down isn't it? Anyway, during Ramadan, having at least acknowledged an issue with my health and the impact it had on the family, especially the children's education and my deen, I made lots of dua (supplication) asking for help in this particular area. I was thinking along the lines of more energy, more time, a house move, some inspiration to be able to organise myself  Fly Lady style and remain healthy too.  I wasn't sure what I wanted or needed; only Allah ta'ala would be aware of that so I left it in His hands.

Then, out of the blue, the children got a place in a new local Islamic School on a flexi-school basis.  The school is managed by the children's old tutor.  Knowing about my health issues she phoned to let me know about their new venture as she thought it might be beneficial for us.  At the same time Allah ta'ala made the finances available for the kids to go.  How could I refuse?  I nearly did? I really, really dislike everything about school, even Islamic ones, but a friend pointed out that it would take the stress of educating the children away (apart from Lego who still studies at home with me as he is too old to go) and give me some time to rest.  So, two weeks after the phone call they have completed a week and so far are really enjoying it mashaAllah.  They go for 4 days a week from 8.45am-1.30pm; they start and finish the day with dhikr and pray the mid day prayer together before coming home.  They do Math, English, Science and ICT daily for the first 3 days and then on the last day, instead of Science and ICT they do PE and either Art & Craft, History or Geography.

Sprite is a 50/50 about going but I feel that's because of his dyslexia; the other two are loving it.  I am still a little uneasy about sending them and my heart drops every time I see worksheets in their bags.  However, at least this way I can continue doing what I want to do with them without stressing so much about it all. I can also rest much more. It also means that I can concentrate more on helping Sprite with the issues around his dyslexia God willing.  It means, inshaAllah, that I can have more time to focus on them when they are at home.

This week I have really missed my children being around. I have missed being a part of their learning. I miss seeing that little sparkle they get in their eye when they 'get' something, or have done something that they really enjoyed. I miss watching them discover. But this isn't about me, it's about them.  So while they are enjoying it I shall stand back and let them continue.  I do, however, harbour a hope that I will be able to take them out and home educate them completely again soon.  We will have to wait and see.


Nafeesa's Blog said...

Dont be hard on your self sis, its just one of those things. You did your best, leave the rest with Allaah as you are doing Alhumdulillah. There is kheir in everything.

I dont know much about your medical condition but I pray Allaah swt gives you ease and grants you sabr, and strength and makes it a means for you to attain the highest of Jannahs Ameen x

Umm Adam said...

Wa alaikum assalaam sis,
Ameen to your duas sis & jazakillahu khayr for your lovely comments. I think your right sis, I still can't believe I'm doing it though LOL, but as you say Allah ta'ala is the best of planners and if we've done our Istikharrah we have to be happy with the path He has chosen for us. There will still be lots of stuff to post about inshaAllah.
Wassalaam xXx

ummrashid said...

Don't worry, if they are enjoying it and it is Islamic then there should be no problem inshAllah.

Umm Adam said...

Wa alaikum assalaam
Jazakillahu khayran sis, I know it's my own feelings and preconceptions that I have to deal with LOL. Although Daisy has learned the 'F' word this week from one of the other children...
Wa alaikum assalaam xXX